Thanksgiving...

When my one of my very old and close school chum sent me this forwarded email, I thought it would be one of his typical jovial funny crackling fwds, which would make me laugh. So, I thought I would read it later and flagged it as "transport" read, which meant, when I am returning home from office in the office cab, I would read it on my phone. Later today evening, after reading this, I felt extremely thankful to him. Working in an IT industry is like a rollercoaster ride, always filled with lows and highs. This piece must get into my blog as a "Booster Dose", so that I would come back & read this whenever I am in one of the down rides! And would not forget to thank God for the thorns!!

The Blessing of Thorns:

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like a spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole that from her. During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come for the holiday. Then Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. She has no idea what I'm feeling, thought Sandra with a shudder. "Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered aloud. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her.

"I....I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra.

"For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving Special?" asked the shop clerk.

"I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued.

"Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong." Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Just then the shop door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi, Barbara...let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped: there were no flowers.

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk.

Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed.

"Yes, please," Barbara, replied with an appreciative smile.

"You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest and she left with her order.

"Uh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uh....she just left with no flowers!".

"Right", said the clerk, "I cut off the flowers. That's the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet."

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that!" exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery."

"That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk, "and for the first time in my life, had just spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra.

"I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for the good things in my life and never questioned the good things that happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask questions! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important. I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop. "Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man.

"My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving Special....12 thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?"

"No...I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I got the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from "thorny" times, and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks for what that problem taught us." As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said. "It's all too...fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing" said the clerk. "Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me." The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra.

"I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first."

It read: "My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns. I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant."

As we reflect upon this season, a time for giving thanks and being appreciative of so many good things, Praise Him for your roses; thank him for your thorns! 

Welcome, My friend!

Thursday, 26th May 2005, 8:26AM. That was precisely the moment when I lost myself forever and was born all over again!

Trivia:

Back in 2004, Anindita (then, my beautiful/darling/loving/patient/caring wife; current status- my wife!) and myself were married almost 1.5 yrs and we were enjoying life & marriage immensely, like 2 free birds tied to each other by choice, having the best time of our lives! But my beloved mother sowed the seeds of "motherhood" in my wife, with the alibi of the famous "biological clock" ticking away, though wifey was not even 26! And a wife, with the purpose of turning into a mother can be very dangerous and unscrupulous! She gave plentiful explanations of having a bloodline to carry the "Nandi Flag" into next generation! The ever gullible me, ever trusting nature and the fierce intention to keep my wife & family happy, fell for the trap and my wife's report card said positive in Oct 2004! And so we started the journey to become a family!

Wednesday, 25th May 2005:

Every person has a way of handling stress. Some cry, some smoke, some drink, some do yoga, some walk or run and some eat. I am different. Wednesday, 25th May late in the evening, I sat in the loo, with a smoke in my hand, crying in desperation, to cope with the uncertainties which were in store for me the next day....

The first 8 months passed smoothly, almost sailed! Wednesday, 25th May 2005, I had scheduled my wife's "9th month starting" checkup with our Doc as the next week She (the Doc) was travelling for 2 wks. During our checkup, I sensed that the Doc was a little uncomfortable, asked me to take Anindita for a scanning. We promptly went to Wockhardt, the sonography Doc informed the results in chaste technical terms to our Doc! We visited our our Doc in the evening with the reports. After going thru' the reports, she broke the news- the baby was in a "breach" position, so normal delivery was ruled out. The baby also seemed a little underweight. And the worst, the fallopian tubes had started going round the baby's neck. Since the baby was now "term", Doc said she would not prefer to wait any further and have an immediate Cesarean delivery. She assured that for the baby, it's always best and least stress path to come into the world. She asked us to decide in the next 5 mins, so that she can call Manipal Hospital to book the OT for next day!

I was comfortably numbed, gaping at the Doc and trying to understand the magnitude of what she had uttered some seconds back! I looked at my wife; she was not at all perturbed, quite resolute infact! She just said, if it’s good for the baby, then that’s the way to go! Rest of the things went off in a trance- our Doc booked the room for the same evening and OT for next day at 8am in Manipal. We were supposed to check into Manipal Hospital at 10pm that night! We quickly left for home so that we could take some basic stuff to the hospital. I took a bath, released my tensions in my sort of way and then checked into Manipal at night! We were escorted to our room where we retired for the night after some procedures were carried out on my wife, to prepare her for her big day the next day! Just didn’t want to sleep, so we kept chatting and don’t remember when I finally dozed off!

Next morning started early, at 5am. One after the other pre-operation procedures went on with wife and I was the silent but painful partner, cannot physically share any pain which made the mental agony even more! Finally at 7:30am, she was rolled into the OT in a stretcher. Just before she got in, we both smiled at each other with anticipation! And after she went in, I sat outside the OT, prayed that everything went fine! Every minute was like ages, kept on pacing the corridor like a madman! At precisely 8:40am, a nurse came out of the OT with a small green cloth wrapped small parcel, announcing “Anindita Nandi” and trying to locate where I was. I froze but lift my hand for identification, she slowly walked over to me! “Mr. Nandi, this is your son, please check and sign here!”. I froze, was in a mixture of stunned, surprised and bliss; slowly told her “Sorry, but I don’t know how to hold the baby!”. She scooped the baby and threw him in my arms, almost forcibly, to my horror! All it felt like was a warm light-weight "half the length of my hand" sized bony "thing"! After I took him in my hands, the first thought was, he looked like a monkey! And then the prince woke up from his deep slumber, yawned big, stretched his hands and legs, almost saying without words- hey Dad, why the hell did you wake me up!

"Nipun Nandi" arrived, at 8:26am, on Thursday, 26th May 2005...and pushed back my so called world to become my most prized possession, my most important thing in my world!

Now:

With over 5 years in the making, I love everything that has happened till now. Right from the times when I saw his toothless laughter, to his first crawling, to the first stand and then walking and falling, to breaking every single thing in the house, to those nights when he sobbed with stomach pain and I held him in my arms, walking from one room to the other throughout the night, to the current nights when he refuses to sleep without me in the bed, clinging onto me with one of his leg trying to pierce my stomach and one of his hand clasping my neck almost strangling me, to his incessive demands of buying him toy-cars, to his current urges to "overtake" every other car on the road, to the snakes and ladders games where he inevitably wins (by "crook", almost always), I love him for everything. I don’t know what I would have done without him! God bless him always, even my share of blessings are for him! And like an eternal father-son relationship- I am his "best friend", I need him more than he does me! "He completes me!".

A silent prayer.

When was the last time I had a tension-free life? The correct answer- Never! Not even for, maybe, a single day! Maybe the simple reason is- I enjoy being under stress and taking tension! There is a strange insecurity in me the moment I feel, I have nothing to worry about...almost makes me feel that something gravely wrong is around the corner! But is it so simple to be tension free? Or am I just insane or a maniac to keep worrying?

Well, I have a son, he goes to a school which costs a bomb, his one year fees is equivalent to my entire 4 yr degree education! I have a loan on my house which scalps so much out of my salary, that the savings account looks "mean" and "thin" after every 10th of the month! My loving dear car not only puts a big hole in my saving's account every month, it also makes an equally big hole in my wallet in the form of petrol bills, this only gets aggravated with the disgusting passion I have for driving and road-trips! (I used to say- "if there is a road which leads to a place, then let's drive there!" Damned Me!). Now being a Bengali costs a lot! I mean, how many people you know who needs non-veg atleast twice a day. I won't complain if I get it 4 times a day!! And in Bangalore where vegetables/non-veg prices compete with the gold/silver rates in the country, I can imagine how my savings account gets raped every single day! Btw, any loving husband in today's generation cannot say no to a couple of "maids" who should keep our home clean, can they? So, there goes the remaining part of the salary, along with your mental peace on those days when the maids are on unannounced leave and the wifey dear has to do all the household work during the day (which makes her miss the repeated telecast of the soaps which she has already watched the previous evening!). In the end, "savings" is just an aesthetically crafted word, which gets pushed every month to the next month, with the hope that next month it would become a reality and the "account" would have some remnants!

Now, when your company all of a sudden announces that the company has decided to become "leaner" and "meaner" which in simple words mean "job cuts", what do you do? If they also say that managers might be the people who gets affected more than Engineers and you happen to be the former, what do you do? If you have worked your butts off every single day in the current yr and in the process have rubbed a few bosses on their wrong sides who might have a say in the final list, what do you do? And if this instability of job keeps haunting you every 6-12 months in your company regularly, that too, whenever you are due for a good hike or a promo, what do you do? What the heck, if all the MNCs of today go thru' reorgs like half-yr anniversaries, then what do you do!!

I keep it simple! I worry, I get tensed and I try to keep it all myself. And just like another day, I go home, spend some time with my kid (which is the best stress-buster in life), then play a couple of badminton games (second best stress-buster), talk to my wife abt the nothings of the day while having dinner and finally sleep off, after saying a silent prayer- "Thank you, God, for everything!!"

What would you have done?

"Routine"...I love it!

Routine is the essence of a normal, natural flow of life, yet everyone is desperate to break it! Every now and then I hear myself, my wife and a generous portion of my daily friend circle- cribbing, frantically trying to break this "routine" from our lives to do something spontaneous, something interesting, something exciting, something different which makes us feel "alive and kickin" every single day. Then, there are bouts of honesty which creeps inside me every once in a while and I deliberate- Do I really hate this "routine" and would I actually be happy "breaking" it?

My "routine" says- Wake up in the morning, freshen-up, hit the toilet, read the newspaper, have some tea (sometimes breakfast), drop the kid to his school bus stop, then bask in the morning's solitary "smoke", take bath and leave for the day. All of this between 6-7:15am.

Imagine this routine gets broken one day- How?

I struggle out of bed to the wash-basin and discover that toothpaste is over, wifey has comfortably forgotten to inform in advance and hence the last ditch herculean effort to squeeze out some bare ounces from the already flattened tube! (Irritated). Open the door and find the newspaper is late (Pissed)! Go to the toilet for the morning ritual and try to read some news on mobile, only to find out that GPRS connection is down, so no luck baby, the browser doesn't work! (More piss(ed)- literally). Come out and expect some tea, wife tries "to break her routine" and bumps me with a new tea (with spices), hate it but grudingly drink the tea and mentally curse (both the tea and the maker!). (Hate). Take the kid to bus stand only to find bus is late and I lose some vital time waiting for it to arrive! (Angry). Take bath with cold water, only to realize that due to my hatred about toothpaste/newspaper earlier, I completely forgot to switch on the Geyser and can't wait for hot water as I was too late already! Quickly finish dressing/puja/breakfast and leave for work, totally frustrated and pissed. And then at work, I get to hear- "bored of the mundane and routine"!

The above incidents maybe purely figments of my imagination, so much bad luck should never happen on one day to anyone, God forbid! But for a moment if we assume the above is true, then I deeply wonder- do I really want to break free from the routine? "Grass is greener always on the other side", so we always feel that if things were more inpromptu, more unpredictable, we would have loved it so much! It would have been so nice. But do we really want that for everyday? If there was no balance and only new things for each day was the routine in our lives, would we have liked it? Do we really want to take the rollercoaster ride of so many negative emotions while making the beginning of a new day?

Somehow, when I start thinking in those lines, I begin to love my routine all the more, with renewed vigor! I love my "routine" morning newspaper on time, love my "routine" morning tea and definitely love my daily "routine" time spent in the loo! They say- "Charity begins at home". I say- "Routine is charity, as it teaches us to be happy with what we have"!

Think about it! Deja vu?

"UDAAN"- flight to next generation!

Watched "UDAAN" last weekend and finally completing the review. Worth every min, spent in savoring it! And I thought parallel Hindi cinema with a message to society was fading away fast except for those infrequent attempts by Shyam Benegal/Vishal Bharadwaj/Anurag Kashyap! This is a brilliantly done movie, stirring the raw emotions and harsh realities of a teenager and dishing it on a canvas for everyone of all age group to enjoy.

The Movie:
This movie is about a teenager, Rohan Singh, played by young Rajat Barmecha. The silent yet "expressive-thru-the-eyes" boy, studying in a boarding school in Shimla, is matured well beyond his years, thanks to his extremely strict and non-challant father, Bhairav Singh (played by Ronit Roy) who has sent his son to boarding school after the death of his wife/Rohan's mother and never met his son for the last 8 years. The movie starts with Rohan and his 3 ardent friends getting expelled from school after getting caught red-handed by the hostel warden watching a "not-so-nice" movie (named- Kantishah ke angoor). Hence, he has to skeptically make his way back to his father's home, ending his education prematurely! Nice to notice in this scene is the personal touch of the "Head-D", who after expelling Rohan also apologizes to him knowing Rohan's background & wondering about what future has in store for him!
 
On returning home, Rohan is greeted by 2 strangers- his father, who is absolutely seething with anger on his son's explusion and a surprise 6-yr Arjun, half-brother to Rohan, whose mother was married to Rohan's Dad and apparently the second fling also ended in disaster but resulted in an offspring- all without Rohan's knowledge! There is instant dislike between these two brothers (though mostly from the elder) as they share the same room, bed and cubboard which used to be solely Rohan's before he left for boarding! The movie then progresses on how the lives of father and sons changes from bad to worse and how the brothers slowly develop their brotherhood between them. Our protoagonist is clearly cut-out to be a poet, a novelist, a writer- he has all the ingredients which promises to make him an extraordinary writer, one whose pen is matured well beyond his years, who mesmerizes audience of all age group with his inpromtu story telling and brings a tear to the eye with his deeply painstakingly heavy innuendos on life! But his father is completely against it- He wants his son to work in his factory during the AM and study in the second half to become an "Engineer", the conventional archetypal profession in life!
 
Though the boy has a support system in his uncle, Jimmy (brilliantly played by Ram Kapoor), it's the ditch attempt of the boy's coming to terms with his father's demands which is worth seeing! Every scene portrays the pain wherein he yearns to do what his heart desires versus what he has to do, since his father still "owns" him and his dreams, per se! The time he spends in the green pastoral fields, in front of the lakes dreaming and writing his thoughts, shows the passion of pursuing his dream! Unfortunately, he flunks (according to his best laid plans) in his 1st semester exams which triggers his father to burn his most cherished thing- book of memoirs where he pens his thoughts and pours his heart! Things eventually boil down to an extent where Bhairav Singh tries to justify his anger and frustrations in life to the fact that he is a "forced" bachelor. Hence he makes the pivotal decision of remarrying (3rd time) to bring back sanity in his life (and not just to satisfy his libido!), simultaneously deciding that Arjun has to go to boarding school (and relive Rohan's life) and Rohan gets to be the full-time worker in the factory!

Rohan ponders about this long and hard, takes in a couple of extra shots of liquor to wash down his mind demons and decides that enough is enough! He first totals his Dad's car (I felt this was quite symbolic- first signs of breaking free from his Dad's shackles) for which he lands in jail. His father does not bail him out, so when he is released the next day, he comes back resolute in mind and simply leaves his house! The high octave of the movie is when he walks out from his father's house, with his father chasing him and he finally beats his father to their ritualistic every morning race track, this time, only in the other direction (symbolic to the final break free!).

In the last few minutes of the movie, he gets to his uncle's house, lies low for a day, pondering and deciding the next steps. He then goes back to his father's house, this time only to pick up his brother before his Dad parcels Arjun to Rohan's life! He leaves a note to his Dad, where he writes to "stay away from them otherwise he would press criminal charges against the father". And the last scene is my favourite- two brothers walking away from their father's house holding their hands exuding unspoken love for each other! It's like the quintessential promise- love always wins & hatred has to fail in the end!
 

My Take:

There are 3 relationships to watch out for in this movie- Father and son, brother to brother and a boy becoming a man! Each has been portrayed with brilliance and brought to a finality!

It is quite a big dilemma for me to decide, if Arjun is the protoganist of the movie or shall I endow the credits to Rohan! This 6-yr old has probably given one of the most affluent, eloquent and sublime performance of a life-time as the younger half-brother of Rohan. Right from the scenes where he imitates their father and calls his brother "disgraceful" on losing every morning races to their Dad, to the scenes where he keeps running up and down the stairs as a messenger boy between his Dad and brother, to the scenes where he plays secretly with Rohan's superman to the scenes where he mutedly bonds with his elder brother after getting hospitalized due to his father's brutal belting.
 
Clearly, Bhairav Singh has an anger management and drinking problem. He is this insensitive harsh arrogant angry man, who is probably driven by his past harsh experience as a child who has probably suffered to live thru' his father's expectations! To sum it all, devil personified would not be too wrong a term for him. The backdrop of the movie is selected as Jamshedpur, projected as a small town with native value-systems which has not undergone the current generation revamp, hence the coarseness in family relationships and communication gap between the generations! But whatever it is, Ronit Roy as Bhairav Singh has rocked all of the 74mm screen, from beginning to end. You hate him every fraction of a moment he is on-screen and there lies the huge success as an actor! We need more of these performances, Ronit and not the typical "husband" roles of Mr. Bajaj!

And in the end, what lingers on the mind is our budding poet's lines...
"Chotti chotti chitrayi yaadein, bichi hua hai lamhein ki lawn pe,
nange pair unpad chalte chalte itni duur aa gaye hain,
ki ab bhool gaye hai ki joote kaha utarein the!"

Don't know how the box-office would react to this film, but I would want these type of movie to be made over and over again!

Cheers!

Persistence is a "Lady"!

Have absolutely no idea what I am doing here.

Do I like to write- NO! Because I love to talk!
Do I intend to write in future- like hell, NO! Because I can spend my time in trillions of better ways than writing about my random passing thoughts or moods which is so transitory yet insanely frequent. If nothing, then I rather take some carwax and shine my car and take pride in it! Then, what the &#$% am I doing here?

When a person persistently, continously, honestly requests someone for months together to do something as simple as open a page and write something, anything, which does not deliver any loss to anyone in today's world, not many people can refuse such a pristine demand! Atleast I couldn't.

Flashback: It all started with this fair-ish, cute-ish, fat-ish kid with whom I spend atleast 2.5 hours daily (hold your thoughts- we "cattle class" use our office transport and unfortunately for her, it makes her my "shuttle-mate") sending me a link to her freshly prepared snack "a poem in hindi written in English". Common knowledge- I am "Literature" challenged, hence could not eat or digest the "snack".  To add insult to injury, I even had the guts to challenge her rational intent to create such a potion!

After that, series of knowledge enhancement sessions began for me on what all revelations a blog can do to a human, to make me a convert in this religion of bloggers! What started as requests gradually became threats and almost turned into assualts on me- wherein my "s-mate" kept firing me with her incessant doses of "what do you call.." series of PJs which gave my brain cells instantaneous blue screens!

Finally I decided, enough is enough and hence just to save myself from the brink of insanity, I am here, trying to create something out of nothing! I donot know how productive I would be or who would benefit from what I, if I, write here, but that would atleast change the climate of 2.5 hours of my waking hours!

Come to think of it, everytime I ever did anything important in my life was due to the insistence and later persistence of a woman. My mom continuously persuading me to get married (that was a mistake on my side by listening to her!), My wife continuously pushing me to loose weight (valliant attempts meets the dust every now and then!), My sister frustrating me to quit smoking (I have atleast reduced!). Thats what makes me think- Persistence is a "Lady"!

Anyways, I am in now! And I hope to have fun! Hallelujah!